That's Not A Word!
by Red Witch
Summary: Hank tries to tutor Todd and Fred. He ends up getting a lesson himself.


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters is in a dictionary somewhere. Just some random madness from my own mind based on some interesting news. **

**That's Not A Word!**

"Since I've joined the X-Men I've seen a lot of weird sights. But by far this is the weirdest," Scott blinked as he entered the kitchen.

Hank was in a sweater and glasses with Todd and Fred at the kitchen table. They had a lot of books, newspapers and papers around them. Logan was at the counter drinking coffee. "Not the weirdest Scott but definitely in the top ten," He corrected.

"Okay I know I am going to regret this but why are Toad and Blob here?" Scott asked.

"I invited them over. I'm tutoring them," Hank said.

"You really like a challenge don't you?" Scott blinked.

"I'm just a simple soldier in the war against ignorance," Hank said.

"That and the fact the Professor asked him to do it and Magneto is making us," Todd added.

"Why just those two? Where's the rest of the Brotherhood? Why aren't you doing all of them at the same time?" Scott asked. "And even as the question came out of my mouth I realized the answer. Logan why are you…?"

"I'm just here to watch," Logan smirked.

"I hardly think even Toad and Blob will cause any serious damage to the mansion during a study session," Hank said.

"That's not what I'm here to watch them wreck," Logan smirked.

"What do you mean?" Hank asked.

"You'll figure it out," Logan snorted.

"Why do I have the feeling I don't want to be around for this?" Scott sighed as he left the room.

"Because you have good instincts," Logan called out after him. "Which is more than I can say for Beast and Charles."

"Just what is **that **supposed to mean?" Hank blinked.

"It means I like a good fight against nearly impossible odds as much as the next guy but even I know there are some fights you just can't win," Logan shook his head.

"I disagree," Hank said stiffly. "I believe I can educate Todd and Fred."

"And I believe you can teach a monkey to brew beer but I wouldn't drink it," Logan added.

"Logan I am a highly qualified teacher. I think I can handle this. Okay let's check your essays shall we?" Hank asked. He did a look at the papers. "Uh Fred…What exactly is the title of your essay?"

"My essay is To Refutiate the Claim Pepsi Won the Soda Wars of the Late 80's!" Fred said proudly.

"Oh where do I **begin** with this?" Hank sighed. "To start off with refudiate is not a word."

"Yes it is," Fred said.

"And here it comes," Logan started to chuckle.

"Refudiate is **not** a word!" Hank told him.

"If it's not a word how come Sarah Palin used it in a sentence twice?" Todd asked.

"It is **not **a word," Hank repeated.

"If it isn't how come it's the 2010 Word of Summer?" Todd blinked.

"What?" Hank blinked.

"Those Webster dictionary people said that refudiate is the word of the summer," Todd pointed out. He pulled out a piece of paper. "See I found an article about it."

"Oh for crying out…" Hank winced. "Okay I can see how you would get confused but trust me on this. Todd you actually did research and read a newspaper?"

"Don't be so surprised. Everybody misunderestimates me," Todd said proudly. Hank glared at him. "What?"

"Misunderestimate…is also **not** a word!" Hank snapped.

"Yes it is. The former president of the United States said it all the time," Todd said.

"Yeah!" Fred nodded.

"He's got you there Hank," Logan agreed.

"Don't encourage them!" Hank snapped.

"I'm just saying the frog did his homework," Logan laughed.

"I did! I'm refutitaing your misunderestimation of me!" Todd nodded.

"No, no, **no**!" Hank groaned. "Listen, refudiate and misunderestimate are not considered legitimate words!"

"Well who made you the Word Police?" Todd folded his arms. "You got a badge from the Dictionary Congress or somethin' we don't know about?"

"I am a teacher and a lover of the English Language," Hank glared at him. "Qualifications that are in desperate supply in world of rapidly lowered standards!"

"So you had to take a test or something to be qualified?" Fred blinked. Logan busted a gut laughing.

"This is unbelievable!" Hank got up and paced back and forth, waving his hands. "No wonder grammar and spelling standards are going downhill faster than a drunken ski instructor! In our society where stupidity is not only applauded but **rewarded** and intelligence is scorned what else could one expect? How can we hold up our young people to rules of grammar and standards of speaking when even our own government leaders, men and women of supposedly high intelligence don't follow them? It's not only a reflection of the decline of the American Educational system, it's a prelude to the fall of society in general!"

"So society is gonna get wrecked just cause somebody made up a word?" Todd blinked. "Well if that's the case why don't Magneto just do **that?** It'd be a lot easier sitting around the house making up words instead of going out and fighting and stuff!"

"Yeah I can do that!" Fred nodded. "I got a word right now! Bogo! Oh wait that's a word the shoe people came up with. Never mind."

"Bogo?" Hank blinked.

"Buy one get one," Logan explained. Hank looked at him. "I made the mistake once of going with Kitty and the other girls to buy shoes. Sue me."

Todd thought of a word. "I got one! Bloopedy! It means all messed up but not the kind of mess you have to call a professional cleaner in for."

"I can use it in a sentence," Fred said. "The kitchen was all bloopedy after Kitty tried to bake. Oh wait if she tries to bake something you do need a professional cleaner."

"And a professional construction crew," Todd agreed.

"This is better than watching an episode of Frasier," Logan laughed.

Hank glared at Logan. "Don't you have something you should be slicing in half right about now?"

"It's more fun watching them slice away at the English language," Logan smirked. "And at your will to live."

"Is refute a word?" Fred asked as he looked in a dictionary.

"Yes, Fred. It's a verb that means to prove something wrong or deny something," Hank said.

"So refudiate means the action of proving something wrong or denying something!" Fred said.

"No! No, no! Listen! There is refute! There is also refutability, a noun. Refutable an adjective. Refutably an adverb, refutation, another noun but there is no word called refudiatie!" Hank explained.

"Hold it. Hold on here…" Todd held his hand up. "Basically you're saying that you can say this word five times in five different forms? And it still means the same thing?"

"Yes Toad," Hank said. "That is correct."

"Well then a sixth way shouldn't be any problem!" Fred remarked. "You already got five different ways of saying it! What's one more?"

"It is a problem because it's not a real word!" Hank snapped.

"Well it **should** be!" Fred puffed up.

"Well it **isn't!**" Hank shouted.

"Well not now, but maybe in the future!" Todd said. "There's lotsa words around now that they didn't have before. Like…Internet! Manga! Jersey Shore! Mutie I'd wish they'd get rid of…"

"He's got a point," Logan said. "Aren't you always teaching that language changes and evolves all the time?"

"You mean words can evolve like mutants? There are mutant words? Wow I didn't know that!" Fred blinked.

"See! The children **is** learning!" Todd said proudly.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Hank yelled at the top of his lungs.

"What's his problem? I thought he **liked** words?" Todd asked Logan.

"I'm thinking of some words he'd really like to say right now," Logan remarked.

"Well who decides what words should be in the dictionary and what shouldn't?" Todd bristled. "I mean if the Oxford Dictionary people gave credibility to refudiate and even their findings don't count well…"

"Muggle, blamestorming, threequel, cyber slacking…" Fred added. "Those are words too."

"Those are **not** words!" Hank snapped.

"Yes they are! They're right here in the Oxford English Dictionary!" Fred pointed. "I even marked them."

"Oh dear sweet departed souls of Noah Webster and Dr. Samuel Johnson what have they done?" Hank moaned as he saw the words. "What sacrilege has been performed on your noble and hard earned endeavors?"

"Told you those words were in there," Fred huffed.

"Okay I know what a muggle is and I'm pretty sure I can figure out what cyber slacking is because I see you kids do it all the time," Logan blinked. "But what do the others mean?"

"Threequel is basically the third movie in a trilogy," Fred explained. "It's like a sequel only…"

"I get the idea," Logan nodded. "And blamestorming?"

"Like brainstorming instead of thinking up ideas, you think up who to blame for stuff that goes wrong," Todd explained. "Magneto does this a lot."

"I can imagine," Logan nodded.

"What insanity have the publishers stooped to…I don't believe this! Mini Me is in the dictionary now?" Hank yelled as he read through the dictionary. "I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!"

"I always said that Austin Powers had a profound influence on the literary world," Fred nodded. "This proves it."

"AAAAHHHHH!" Hank in a fit of rage threw several papers around the room.

"Whoa take it easy big guy," Todd gulped. "It's just a bunch of words."

"When people say words hurt they weren't kidding," Fred nodded.

"Yeah but I don't think they were talking about refudiate and mini me," Todd blinked.

"It's always the ones you least expect," Fred nodded.

Hank calmed down. "You okay Hank?" Logan asked.

"Yes. I went away for a while," Hank sighed. "I'm back now."

"I knew it," Logan looked at the clock. "Oh man! Great! Now I owe Rogue twenty bucks. You couldn't hold back for thirty more minutes could you Hank?"

"Boy it looks all bloopedy around here," Kurt looked around as he teleported in. "What happened?"

"You've been spending a lot of time around Toad lately haven't you Elf?" Logan gave him a look.

"I can't take it anymore. What's next? Putting in words made up by **cartoon characters**?" Hank waved his arms. He turned around quickly but mistakenly walked into a wall instead of the doorway. "D'OH!"


End file.
